Remember When...

Today while driving in the van, the song "Remember When" from Alan Jackson came on.  I've always thought it a lovely, beautiful song.  I hadn't really connected with it though, you know how some songs you feel like are written just for you?  Well, this isn't that song for me.  Then, the last lyrics suddenly struck a cord --

"Remember when we said when we turned gray

When the children grow up and move away

We won't be sad, we'll be glad

For all the life we've had

And we'll remember when"

Barclay and I don't talk about getting old and the kids moving away...but I think about it, a lot.  More in terms of thinking and wishing for the boys to be older, and independent.  People always say "Appreciate when they are young because they grow up so fast".  I can't help but wish for easier days, when they are not so clingy and needy.  When they can feed, dress, potty themselves, when they...don't need me so much????  I guess in essence that is what I am wishing for.  But, then I listen to this song, and, if I'm not careful, I WILL be sad when they grow up and move away, because I am not fully appreciating this time with them.  I find myself thinking, the time isn't really going by that fast.  Then I sit with my Owen, and look at videos of him as a baby.  And I cannot believe that baby is now a vivacious 3.5 year old sitting on my lap saying "Lets watch it again Mommy".  I wonder, does my Mother-In-Law look at her grown 38 year old son and feel like he was just a baby?  Does it really go by that fast? 

I'll be more careful, to appreciate my two little boys exactly as they are now. 

Its almost here...

I've been working on a book, more of a journal, since October and it is almost finished!  I am really excited, but also very overwhelmed.  I think the business side is more difficult than anything else.  Do I need to incorporate before publishing?  Do I need an ISBN?  Where do I get said ISBN?  Where do I get it printed?  Barclay is also making a website for me, and I'm leaving all those details up to him :) 

I came up with this idea when Owen was first diagnosed with Autism.  I don't want to give too many details yet, but I couldn't find anything like this, zip, zero...so I thought, why not create it?  Then, I immediately thought, no...this is silly, I have no idea how to get it printed/published or anything.  So I dropped it until I went to this Special Needs seminar in October.  And in a booth was this little old lady selling a book that she wrote and published all by herself.  Of course, I came home and immediately started mine.  If she can do it, so can I!  I have several friends lending their expertise to help me out with the business side.  I knew my friends where fun and loving, had no idea how smart and talented they are!  :-)  (Point of fact:  Need to do more than just drink with said friends and really get to know their life!)

On Friday, I took Owen to the Dinasaurs Unearthed exhibit at the Science Center.  Friday mornings are our special time.  Levi goes to PDO so that I can spend some QT with Owen, since he is at school all week.  We had an awesome morning.  He did so good.  We walked around and looked at all the dinasaurs, then explored other parts of the museam.  We went to the Discovery Center where he did a great job of moving around and playing with various toys.  (The last time we went, over a year ago, he would only play with the cars..the entire time).  He still was not interested in any crafty things, like coloring/cutting/painting.  We had lunch after the discovery center.  When that was done, I said "time to go get Levi" and we left.  He did AWESOME!

Its been way too long!

It has been entirely too long since my last post. So much so, that I keep putting off doing a post because it feels so overwhelming to catch up on everything. I'll just start writing and see where it take me.

Today, so far, has been wonderful. I truly wish everyday could be like this. Owen is listening, responding, and just being a good kid. He went down for his nap without a peep, which was a nice change of pace.

Ugh, I feel stuck, too much going through my head...so much has happened in the past month! Is there a technology that can just scan my brain for what I want to write and then create the blog for me???

Okay, Levi had a developmental assessment last week. He passed with flying colors. Its is so different watching Levi at this age than with Owen. And, I know that every child is different. But, Owen just didn't do what Levi does. It is so hard to explain, but I just see it as a Mom and I know. Part of me wishes this was all reversed, because I would absolutely know by now that something just wasn't quite right. For example, when the evaluator drew a circle on a paper then handed the crayon to Levi, he immediately imitated making the circle (then tried to eat the crayon). When she got new toys out of her bag, he was interested in them, and would protest when one was taken away but was easily distracted with another toy. These are things that Owen still does not do.

Owen continues to make amazing progress. We had another appointment with his DAN doctor on Monday. She was very pleased with how he looks. Said his eyes are bright and his skin is clear. She said he is acting like a normal, albeit very active, 3 year old boy. We have 2 additional supplements added to our regime, and are up to about 15 a day now. I trust this doctor, and most importantly I trust my husband who is 100% all about this, but, its still hard every morning giving him all of this. I pray that we are doing the right thing, and I think we are, especially with the results we have seen. Owen talks almost all the time in complete sentences. We still have to correct his use of talking in the 1st person, and using he and she instead of it. He no longer sounds "mechanical" when he talks, and he looks at you when talking.

We are also working to get Owen to "calm down"...we go to OT once a week, and work daily on his sensory needs. He is a very active guy, and I don't want to change his personality. He just seems in overdrive much of the time, and this weather certainly doesn't help when he can't go outside and run around.

So, Christmas was a hard day. It was my fault. I spent all this time wrapping presents and making them just right, when I knew....Owen does not like presents. He does not want to unwrap them, nor is he all that interested in what is underneath. So, I ended up throwing a fit and crying, and almost ruined the day until Barclay reminded me what the day was all about. I was able to get it together, and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I learned a lesson from it...only time will tell.

Levi is 100% mama boy. Barclay just laughs...I must carry Levi around all day, or else he cries. But, he only cries if I am around and not carrying him. I said I wanted a snuggle baby. Well, here he is :-)

I'm tired of writing, so I will sign off. I will not wait so long between posts next time!

So much to do, so little time to do it

I absolutely love this time of year.  But, somehow, even though I know exactly when Christmas is going to occur, it seems to sneek up on me.  It is only 4 days away, and I haven't taken Owen to see Santa yet.  Oh, we tried, but the line at the place we went was ridiculous.  And, I told Owen that we have to find Santa so he can tell him what he wants.  So, therein I created my own problem.  I could have told him that we just needed to write a letter.  But nooooo....I said he has to sit on him lap and tell him.  I will get him there somehow, I will not however be the crazy parent at the mall waiting hours for 2 minutes of laptime and paying $30 for a photo package.  Did I ever tell you the story of how I made Santa's elf cry 2 years ago?  Hmmm...lets save that for another time...not my proudest parenting moment. 

Last Friday, Dec 11th, we had, hopefully the first of many, Christmas party at our house.  We had a great turnout and I believe everyone had a wonderful time.  If alcohol consumption is any indication of fun, then it was the party of the year!  Our huge recycle bin was overflowing with bottles of vodka, tequilla, wine...plus we emptied the Keg!  Everyone was responsible though.  There were designated drivers and some even stayed the night.  That is a very important piece of a great party.  Again, Grandma and Grandpa rocked by keeping the boys for the weekend.  Barclay and I didn't wake until Noon on Saturday!!!  We both didn't feel so hot (surprise) and took it easy all day.  We went out to dinner and to the movies...went to see 2012...please oh please don't waste your money.  If the human race is left to John Cusak we are all in deep trouble.  Sunday was a great day.  I seriously layed on the couch and watched FIVE, yes 5, cheesy christmas movies.  Oh, I  wrapped a few gifts, but that was it.  How lucky am I???

Okay, I'm jealous of myself right now.  I wish it was LAST Sunday :)  I'm trying to get this post done before the boys wake up from their nap because its game on after that.  Levi is into everything now, and such a mama's boy.  I cannot put him down, and forget about leaving his sight even for a second.  He wants to right next to Owen too, and Owen only tolerates him for a few minutes and then pushes him...then Owen gets in trouble and everyone is crying.  In other words, its mass chaos these days around here. 

I want to update everyone on Owen's recent appt at Cardinal Glennon.  I'll give a full report later, but they diagnosed him as still on the Autism Spectrum "but barely".  So, he is right on the cusp.  Which is good, he is improving.  We will take him back in one year.  Okay, I have go!!!! 

A birthday surprise!

This is my feeble attempt to write about the magic and joy of the past 24 hours. I wish I had even an ounce of writing talent, so that I could portray, even a tiny bit, what an incredible gift my husband gave me.


Lets start on Friday. Hubby graciously agreed to get up the wee hours of the morning to do some black Friday shopping together. The weather was crisp and cool. We made a stop at the gas station to grab a cup off coffee and off we went to Sams Club. It was basically empty, and we enjoyed some pretty stress free shopping. Then we made a stop at Burlington Coat Factory, then Target, then Lowes. Really, it doesn't sound exciting, but it was so much fun. I know for the most part he was just going with the flow, except for Sams Club and Lowes. But, he never acted bored with the shopping...though he probably would have much rather been sleeping or watching football. Then, we get home and he put up outside Christmas lights, again my suggestion :). Okay, I'm guessing by this point, you the reader are bored to tears. What I am trying to get across is that my hubby gave me the best birthday present ever...we did everything I wanted to do and he never complained! hahaha.

Okay, we'll fast forward to Saturday, 3 pm. I am sitting minding my own business on the couch (yes grandma...I was actually sitting down and relaxing!) and there is a knock on the door. I go to answer and my good friends Cindy and Aimee are standing there! They say "Surprise, we are here to take you out~!". It didn't register for a long time. I looked like absolute hell and I just couldn't get what they meant. Hubby had to break it down for me. He had planned a birthday surprise which included him driving me and my friends around for a night out on the town and then spending the night in a hotel room! I packed my bags, still in absolute shock, and Barclay drove us downtown. We checked into the hotel, and I finally got into gear and got my party face on. We went for a drink in the hotel bar, then to The King and I for dinner. Then, to The Old Rockhouse to watch an awesome 80's band and dance the night away. I don't think I stopped smiling all night. I felt so loved!~ I refused the shot he bought for all of us, and I think my poor tore up belly at least thanks me for that. It seems so surreal.

I am so thankful for my hubby and Aimee and Cindy, and Grandma/Grandpa who watched the boys so this could all happen. Thank you really doesn't even cut it. You gave me a wonderful memory.

Happy Birthday to me....and grandma!

So, it was my birthday on Tuesday, and grandma's as well.  I turned 34.  Three-Four...I need to let that sink in.  It doesn't seem like I should be that old.  Which I guess is good.  You are only as old as you feel, right?  It just seems that a 34 year old would be much wiser than I am.  Much more sophisticated and mature.  I am starting to get wrinkles, which I never ever imagined I would, so I just need to accept that the years are going to pass and I am going to feel and look older.  Boooo!  3 - 4...it still just doesn't seem quite right. 

On our birthday, Barclay surprised both Grandma and I with flowers and cards.  It was simple but wonderful.  I got mad at him last year because he got me a gift card.  Don't get me wrong, I loved the massage I got out of it, but I wanted a little more "thought" put into my birthday.  So the surprise of flowers was perfect!  Barclay also took his mom out to dinner a movie, a mother-son date.  I'm sure she loved it, alone time with her son.  I would love for Owen and/or Levi to do that for me. 

I've had the most perfect birthday week ever!  Its been so relaxing.  The kids are at grandma/grandpas for the weekend.  We've got some christmas decorations up, did some black friday shopping, and now hubby is making me biscuits and gravy.  So perfect!

Since Thanksgiving was this week as well, I want to take a moment to write what I am thankful for, as cheesy and trite as this may be:  I am thankful for my husband, who provides so much for our family - both financially but more importantly, emotionally.  My boys, even though I get frustrated and annoyed at times, could not imagine life without them.  My health.  My in-laws, they are so loving and a wonderful support system.  My friends.  My dog.  My house.  My iPhone. 

A wreck today

We got rear-ended today.  Just minding our own business, sitting at a stop sign and bam!  A hit from behind.  I got out of the van to have a nice conversation with the driver (who are we kidding, I was ready to kick some tail).  I walked to the car with a WTF look on my face, then saw the driver.  He was a 16/17 year old kid and was clearly scared to death.  My first thought was that he took the car without his parent's permission, but then he called his dad and just started to saying "I'm so sorry".  I felt bad for him.  It was an honest mistake, one that any of us could make as we text and talk on our cell phones all the time while driving.  Luckily, its just minimal damage to our van.  I talked to the kids dad on the phone and he asked if it was really his son's fault.  I was like "well, I was sitting at a stop sign and got rear-ended..pretty cut and dry". 

We have a few rough nights with Levi last week.  Two nights he was up all night screaming.  That honestly makes me re-think the whole idea of more babies...I'm too old for that stuff!  I felt like I was walking through water on Friday, I was so tired!  I took him to the doc and he had a double ear infection, better that then the flu.  The antibiotics are already helping I think.  He slept well last night and seemed in better spirits today.  My throat is starting to hurt so I really hope I'm not getting sick now! 

Well, Tuesday is my birthday.  I went to a work happy hour on Friday and a guy I work with guessed my age as 35.  Men, never ever try to guess a woman's age.  NEVER.  Just say 25.  I don't care if she looks 80.  Unless of course the woman really looks 25 then guess 18.  And if she looks 18, then you really shouldn't even be talking to her cause that is getting into dangerous territory.  Okay, back to me.  I'm not going to be 35...am I?  I seriously forget how old I am sometimes!  Sad!  No, only 34. 

I'm so excited for Christmas.  I really hope Owen is into presents this year...though I'm into presents enough for all of us!